Diffusing the Pressure

Hi everyone! It's Karen here. When the topic of social pressure to eat comes up, I like to share a relevant personal story that I hope empowers you to navigate those tricky situations. Many moons ago, when I started dating my husband, we would share frequent Sunday dinners with his family. My mother-in-law is a Kentucky native, a former home economics teacher, and a very skilled cook, especially when it comes to classic Southern dishes (I am a transplant from Upstate New York, so this was a whole new ball game for me!)

It quickly became apparent that the tradition in my husband's family was to eat dessert immediately after dinner (and there was always dessert!) I did not grow up this way - dinner and dessert were always separated by at least an hour or so. The thought of eating dessert right after a hearty dinner was new to me and I knew my body could not handle it. So, when I was offered dessert, I simply had to say something like "No thank you, I'll have some in a little while." Of course this was not easy. I think my in-laws were already skeptical of a New York dietitian showing up on their son's arm. And so I was subjected to the expected ridicule. This went on for a while.

But then a funny thing happened...after a while, I noticed other people in my husband's family starting to decline dessert immediately after dinner. My memory is fuzzy, but I think my father-in-law may have been the first to break from the pack. Eventually, it became the norm to wait to eat dessert after dinner. I kid you not. I happened so organically and subtly, I hardly noticed it when it did become the new normal. I can only assume that people came to their own realization that they would also enjoy dessert more if they waited to eat it. I never did anything other than assert my own needs (wait to eat dessert). And that proved to be pretty powerful over time. I think this shows that many of us are just "going with the flow" when it comes to social eating. You should always honor your needs in these situations, but you may be surprised at how many people you can bring along through your example!