A Wish for Valentine's Day

Hi all, you've got Vanessa today. You'll likely read this right around Valentine's Day, which for many can be a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It seems to me like an even better day than usual to talk about self-compassion and specifically its relationship to the lens we use to view our fellow travelers on this earth.

It's easy to forget that imperfection is the one thing we all have in common, no matter what commercials, social media, or anyone/thing else would have us believe. We fall into a trap of believing things are supposed to be full of chocolate and roses and sunshine and rainbows and then when it's not... WE must have been bad or wrong or somehow morally circumspect. This feeling that something "should" have gone differently can make us feel isolated or shameful. That something is our fault, somehow.

Practicing self-compassion can give you the awareness to notice when your thoughts are hitting this way. If you do notice this thought pattern occurring, take a pause. See, hear, *feel* these feelings -- without judgement, just observation. Become aware of the thinking trap you might be falling into. Take a breath. Use that breath as a cushion to create some distance from those feelings. Take another breath. Remember that we're all breathing that same air. We're all connected in our need for that air...as well as in our imperfections.

If you find yourself thinking or feeling a little less than self-compassionate around this particular holiday week or at any time, my wish for you is to know that you are not alone. You're not alone in that no one is really alone in feeling this way: everyone feels less than or othered at some point in their life. Things are tough sometimes! But you're also not alone in that you have options and resources all around you. A self-compassion practice, starting with just a breath, might bring you to them.